Saturday, 12 June 2010
World Cup, Wolf Hall and Diagnosis Murder
AS the World Cup begins, I thought I'd share this clip from the BBC website with you. Its hilarity has been somewhat tempered for me by the spelling of 'fundamental' in the caption... but then I am a picky old (very old - just had a birthday) sub-editor. Maybe it was deliberate and I'm missing the point. What do I know?
I've just had a week's holiday during which I have done about one-tenth of all the things I planned. I was going to springclean the house, decorate a few rooms, landscape the garden, write a novel, put an end to war, pestilence and famine, plug BP's spilling oil well at the bottom the ocean... that kind of thing.
My new motto was carpe diem ('seize the day', as I'm sure you knew). I tried to carpe my diem, really I did, but I ended up sitting in the garden reading Wolf Hall by Hilary Mantel. Not much diem got carped, unfortunately. I also developed the old lady habit of falling asleep in the chair after lunch. One minute I was joining all those Loose Women and the next I'd awake to Dr Mark Sloan solving a grisly mystery in Diagnosis Murder. He's a full time doctor in a busy hospital and still finds time for some very successful sleuthing. Do you know how that makes me feel, Dr Mark Sloan? Well, do you? There's you tackling a triple heart by-pass before breakfast, dealing with the victims of a head-on train crash before lunch, tracking down a vicious drugs baron in the afternoon and still finding time for a great social life with all your fellow doctors and that dopey son of yours, who doesn't seem to be able to wipe his bum without your help, in the evening. I can barely stir myself to lift a feather duster.
Oh well, it's Saturday and I have plans. I've finished Wolf Hall so I must find another of the many unread books in my house to tackle. I fancy something a little lighter after the 650 pages of Wolf Hall. I have some detective novels knocking about. Perhaps I could pick up a few tips and when I'm back at work I can sub a few newspapers before elevenses, do a complete redesign before lunch, rewrite every single story so it's completely to my liking (oh how I wish I had time to do that!) in the afternoon and find out the identity of Jack the Ripper in the evening. That's Monday taken care of. Now what am I going to do for the rest of the week?