HERE'S a comedy classic for you - the breakfast scene by Morecambe and Wise.
Take another look at it. Does it remind you of anyone? Ladies, do you have men in your life like this? He's never admitted it but I reckon the original sketch was written by the dearly beloved.
Here is my reasoning:
1. There's far too much food for two people. It is a breakfast of gargantuan proportions. Who would prepare a breakfast like this, eat it and then complain he couldn't move? The Man.
2. What's with all that searching through cupboards? He obviously hasn't a clue where anything is kept. Who else is a stranger to the kitchen? The Man.
3. As for those scrambled eggs, they are full of egg shells and there is no attempt to remove them before whisking. Whose cooking skills are so minimal they wouldn't even notice the shells? The Man.
4. Neither Morecambe or Wise can resist playing with their food before eating it. They just have to make a big performance of everything, singing, dancing and playing the fool. Who do I know who is always playing with his sausage and flinging it about? The Man.
5. Who would put one tiny teabag into a teapot and then complain it was too weak? The Man.
6. And finally, I know of no one else who would be such a tosser with the pancakes.
I rest my case.
BBC, please send all the royalties directly to me.